Insert Foot In Mouth, Wiggle Toes, Repeat

Dear Internet,

I screwed up. I made a big mistake last night and i've got to tell you about it. Sometimes when you're out and having a good time with friends and have something in your mind that you think will be funny it backfires right in your face.

As an elaborate scheme involving stolen barstools,a rivalry that doesn't actually exist, and the normal merriment that goes along with an average Thursday at Teresa's Next Door, i went too far.

In trying to bring two worlds together, i tried to further a joke by introducing a friend as the Aunt of Mr. Bryan Edward Beetem, a mistake with consequences that did not fly into my mind quickly enough upon setting these wheels in motion.

I broke the first rule of common decency; never, ever move conversation towards anything that may lead one's mind towards a woman's age. As the needle on Henchy's iPod scratched to halt, a roomful of eyes set upon me, a schoolboy ran by and kicked me in the shins, my stocks dropped, and a Month Of Sunday's repentence was prescribed, i knew i'd made a terrible mistake.

Innocent as the line was, with full intent on confusing the bejesus out of Bryan upon his return to the bar, it fell flat on its face.

Despite my pleas, despite backing from the husband of the offended, i find myself here in internetland and in the dog house. Let this post ring out as an official apology to the millions of readers that could possibly read this (although i get about 20-25 hits / day), hopefully the magnitude of this public confession will lend some hand in mending the wound opened by my words. I am shamed officially and continually. I strive to show my face in public once again, possibly on Wednesday.

At least we all see eye to eye on the Southampton Quad.